


feckless abandon

by pastelpetals



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Angst, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Gender-Neutral Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, still not used to tagging oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 09:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14590119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelpetals/pseuds/pastelpetals
Summary: "After all, I am no more than an accessory, a convenience, to the fripperies you hoard in the name of Askr."In which Kiran is tired of farces.





	feckless abandon

_I don’t think I understood it then, the way I do now._

_The look in her eyes, as if it would be the last time she saw me alive. It was like she knew._

_“Don’t worry,” I had said. “I’ll come back.”_

_But I never did._

* * *

 

“...And that concludes today’s meeting. Thank you for your time, everyone.”

At those words, the room emptied before they could even begin to roll up the war diagrams. The Summoner smiled faintly, somewhat amused by the disapproving — and somewhat offended — expression the Commander bore from the other end of the table. They quickly resumed binding whatever loose parchments were present and handed them off to their red-haired superior, eager to escape the stuffy council room.

They had not one step out the door when— “Summoner? A word, if you please?”

Squeezing their eyes shut in aggravation, they turned and attempted to muster as much genuineness as they could in their smile. “Commander Anna,” they acknowledged politely, the upturn of their lips concealing their gritted teeth. “Is something the matter?”

The Commander studied them with frown. “I believe you’re aware of the issue, Summoner. Prince Alfonse and Princess Sharena have been asking after you.”

“Yes, I have noticed. And what of it?” the other asked, a bit agitatedly. They could feel their jaw clench harder in impatience. A surge of guilt rose from the churning in their stomach, only to be drowned by their inner turmoil. _Pests_ , their mind supplied, _persistent ones_.

This time, the Commander’s frown deepened into a scowl. “Must I spell it out for you? They are obviously worried. You avoid everyone nowadays, shut yourself away in your room or the library without a single word! What is the meaning of this, Kiran? This behavior is unlike you, and quite frankly, unbecoming.”

Kiran scoffed, discarding the effort of obfuscation in favor of making their disdain known. “Why is it any of your business? Am I not still effective in leading the troops? In devising battle schematics? My prudence is still as present as ever, Commander Anna, worry not.”

The Commander, clearly frustrated, slammed her hands on the table, rattling the legs precariously. “I beg to differ, Kiran. It concerns me because your unwarranted behavior is affecting morale. Have you not noticed the increased tension or the dampened atmosphere? All in part due to your acerbic conduct.” She closed her eyes and exhaled heavily. Her tone was that of disappointment, as if she was scolding a young child. It was condescending, humiliating, and the Summoner’s cheeks burned. “To put it simply, you’re being selfish, Kiran, and not in the way we wanted for you to be.”

Kiran bit their lip at this, casting their eyes to the ground. While it was true that they had taken to isolation more often as of late, they had also dismissed the notion that their presence would be missed. After all, they were not royalty, or at least not anyone to that degree of importance. There were no appearances to make or maintain, no responsibility or obligation on a national scale. They were merely a small cog in a well-oiled army, drafting up tactics for the Prince and the Princess to review and for the Commander to execute. Their work took place behind closed doors and fortresses of text. They had long accepted that they had no place on the battlefield nor a reason for the public eye. Over time, the arrangement had even become something they found themselves fond of.

And yet, as the duration of their stay stretched on, their secondary role as tactician was soon occupied by minds that were more astute and adept. They soon found themselves beginning to attend the war council meets out of courtesy rather than necessity. At first, it had felt akin to treachery, but the fault was their own. Numerous were the times Heroes perished under their lead, and it was only logical for their leadership to be placed aside in favor of a better one, they had reasoned with themselves. It had been during a time when they still believed they had other means of worth.

“I don’t care,” Kiran hissed weakly. To their horror, they could feel tears beading beneath their eyelashes. They distantly wondered if it was the guilt come back to haunt them, or if their lividity had finally breached the aegis around their heart. No matter the cause, they refused to let the Commander see how her words had exacerbated them, touched them in places that had been mended haphazardly, in places that had never healed at all.

“You’re acting like a child.” _Shut up. Don’t act like you care. You don’t._

“Well, you’re treating me like one, so shouldn’t I play the part?” _Everyone just wants to win. Even if the strategy doesn’t justify the victory._

Anna’s lips thinned considerably. “All right then, since you seem to have no qualms, we will accommodate you accordingly. Starting tomorrow, you are to be accompanied by a Hero at all times. No exceptions, no overture.” _You chain Breidablik to me and you keep me here. You expect me to be complacent, to keep quiet. After all, I am no more than an accessory, a convenience, to the fripperies you hoard in the name of Askr._

“What a sound arrangement, Commander Anna. I can’t wait to be stared down as I take my morning piss,” Kiran sneered, a mocking grin in place. Their ensuing chuckles were hollow and self-deprecating, a sound so uncharacteristic that it stirred unpleasantly in the air. That wicked grin twisted into something more of a glower when they stalked out of the room, ignoring the eavesdropping royals that stood frozen a few feet away.

They could not bear to look them in the eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: real talk tho, i love the askrian trio
> 
> I’m debating whether to continue this because I do have a half-baked idea of where I would want this to go if I took it seriously. But at the same time, it could be a standalone piece with ambiguous forces behind its intent. (I seriously wrote this at 3am as a stress piece because midterms are killing me. If this story doesn’t follow any sense of logic, I apologize.)
> 
> any and all constructive criticism is appreciated! thanks for reading!!


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